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Notice seen on an old folks' home in Longford: OPEN DAY ON SUNDAY NEXT. DRESS FORMAL. TEETH WILL BE WORN.

Autor: Des MacHale
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A little boy was an only child living in Killarney. He sent a letter to Santa saying: 'Dear Santa, please send me a brother or sister.'.
Autor: Des MacHale
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A new Irish proverb heard on RTE Radio: KNOWLEDGE IS KNOWING THAT A TOMATO IS A FRUIT. WISDOM IS NOT PUTTING A TOMATO IN A FRUIT SALAD.
Autor: Des MacHale
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A Dubliner, a Kerryman and a Cavan man go into a strip club. They like the girl stripping so much that the Dubliner puts a 10 euro note on one of her butt cheeks. The Kerryman, not to be outdone, puts a 20 euro note on her other butt cheek. The Cavan man takes out his credit card and withdraws 30 euro with a quick swipe.
Autor: Des MacHale
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Notice in a hotel bedroom in Cahir:
Autor: Des MacHale
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Sign seen in a shop in Derry: UNATTENDED CHILDREN WILL BE SOLD INTO SLAVERY
Autor: Des MacHale
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This fellow from Bantry didn't have a single hair on his head. But he had a tatoo on the top which read: I'M NOT BALD. THIS IS SOLAR PANEL FOR A SEX MACHINE.
Autor: Des MacHale
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A nun was conducting a religious class on Dublin's northside. "Now boys", she said, "if any of you found a 50 euro note on the street, would you keep it?".
Autor: Des MacHale
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A huge Ryanair advertising hoarding read: BREAKFAST IN DUBLIN - LUNCH IN NEW YORK.
Autor: Des MacHale
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Sign seen in a pub in Carrick-on-Suir: JUST BECAUSE YOUR DOCTOR SAYS YOU NEED GLASSES, THERE'S NO NEED TO TAKE OURS.
Autor: Des MacHale
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